Uncategorized

Depression “DRY BONES”

pexels-photo.jpg

Ezekiel 37:5 The Lord Speaks

This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.

Have you ever walked through something that shook you to the very core of your belief? Your flight or flight switch turned on and now you feel like it’s hopeless to turn it off. Your bones feel dry and your lungs are heaving for just a breath of peace. Your mind is racing and beating you to death with all the doubts that plague you. Your knees shake and your hands are sweating. Your trying to pray, but you can’t find the words. You can’t seem to get your mind quiet long enough to hear what your heart is saying.

Just Breathe

I know it feels like your alone in this. It’s dark, cold and lonely where you are right now. There doesn’t seem to be any peace, though not for your lack of trying. But let me be an encouragement to you. I’ve been where you are. I’ve sat in the seat of despair. Hopeless to find my way out and see anything good for my future. Broken on every side and bruised in my heart. But with all the hope I could muster (Which wasn’t much) I took another breath and kept going. You want to know what I’ve learned about myself. I am a fighter, a very determined individual. I don’t give up easy. I never knew how much of a fighter lived inside me until God had to bring it out of me.

I am stronger because I refused to let the devil break me. I bent, I swayed but I never broke. Though there many days I thought I might. There many nights I said, I just can’t do it anymore. But, for every breath I took God was holding me in His right hand and He is you to! Being in a broken place in your life feels like your bones are dried up and life seems pointless. you are heaving for just a drink of peace. your not asking for much.

Still my mind and heart Lord, long enough for me to hear you

While facing the hardest trial of my life God gave me the best vision I could have ever ask for but never did. While asleep one night God showed me the world, then He had me look to the right and I was standing in His right hand and He was smiling at me. Isn’t that such a beautiful thing. I know I’m okay with God, but my mind and the devil likes to convince me otherwise. Sometimes, it works.

cross-sunset-humility-devotion-161089.jpeg

Beloved daughter, I know times may seem tough right now. I know it’s very hard where your standing. Going around and around that same ole mountain. Your promised land is just on the other side of that trial. You can do it. God is on your side.

Proverbs 29:18

Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.

Direction and perspective is your key. Reshaping and renewing the way you think. Be careful what you are thinking about. How you talk to yourself. As you begin to renew your mind, (Daily) with the word your dry and weary bones will begin to be restored.

Romans 10:17

So then faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the word of God

Breathing will become easier, thinking won’t feel so overwhelming and making a decision won’t feel so critical. You will begin to see life has meaning again.

So beloved little daughter, be of good cheer! Your father is looking after you. He’s holding you in His right hand. So slip into faith, put on some peace and watch as the Lord sustains you!

Anxiety ans the Church, Uncategorized

Anxiety and Christianity

There is a huge disapproval of anxiety and depression in the church these days. The stigma around it leaves people even more broken when they walk out the church doors than before they walked through them. They ask themselves questions like “Why do I feel this way if God loves me. Or maybe the pastors right, I just don’t have enough faith.” Telling someone they just don’t have enough faith can have devastating effects on them mentally even though you may mean no harm by it. When you tell someone something like that you are judging their heart and determining what their faith is. But shouldn’t we leave that to God? Shouldn’t we just be His hands and His feet to the people who need Him.

Jesus Said: Luke 19:10

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.

If Jesus came to seek that which was lost, shouldn’t that be our main objective. Jesus never walked up and just judged, even though He had every right knowing their hearts. He always asked questions, evaluated the person’s heart and motives behind their intentions. He searched every area of them. Jesus didn’t have to do it this way. He is after all God. But what He did, was gave us a way to follow after Him. He left us with insurmountable information to follow and bring His sheep home.

Who can understand the depths of someones heart or know the motives behind them? Who can understand the stains on my pillow from tears I’ve cried over the anxiety and depression I feel. Begging God, please I just want to be closer to you. I just want to feel your presence. I’m not asking for millions. I’m not asking for anything this world has. I just want you. I can’t breathe without you, I can’t live without you. I need you to be my deliverer. I need you to just wrap your arms around me and shield me with your powerful love. But God, I can’t hear you. Where are you? Did I hurt you? Have I lost your promises forever? What did I do father? Oh God, please don’t leave me, I need you.

See, when God searched my heart, He saw that there was a lot more there than just being faithless. He saw the pain of being left. The pain of never being enough. He saw how much I wanted Him, but scared to death that I would do something to mess it up. He saw that as a child I was molested and how unworthy I feel to call Him mine. He saw that as a baby my father left me, found me unfit to be called his. So in my heart I hold all these fears and anxieties. My fears and my anxieties aren’t always because I don’t trust Him. There because I never feel worthy to be His.

What the church needs to realize is no one WANTS to suffer from depression. But thoughts of  despair, hopelessness, confusion, anger, resentment, hurt and fear are driven by depression and fueled by anxiety. They truly believe what they feel and think. People suffer from different types of anxiety. You have social anxiety, Generalized anxiety disorder, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), agoraphobia and many others. All begin with a thought and end with what you believe to be true.

But what if God strengthens us through our pain. What if God takes all of our heartaches, heart breaks, brokenness and confusion and one by one He begins to lift it from within us as He shows us Who He Really Is.

Many nights I myself have cried out before God over my depression and anxiety. Some days I wake up and I am fine. I feel like I can breathe and take on the day. Other days I feel as though the very life has been sucked right out of me and that God wants nothing to do with me in that present state of mind. Mental illness is a sickness and one not to be taken lightly. As you can see through history many have taken their lives over such and many more will until we do what God has called us to do.

Jesus Said: Mark 2:17

When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Beloved, if you or someone you may know suffers from any kind of mental illness please seek help immediately. Though it may seem like you have it under control it can spiral very quickly. Life can throw many hurdles your way and its up to us to stand with a sober mind so we can finish the race set before us. God loves you more than you can possible understand. God did not create you to feel this way everyday or to doubt who you are or who He is for that matter. You are cherished, loved, desired, called worthy! You are a diamond that he’s shinning. You are His heart walking around. You are the apple of His eye and you are held in His right hand. You are His daughter/son and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you!