Anxiety ans the Church, Uncategorized

Anxiety and Christianity

There is a huge disapproval of anxiety and depression in the church these days. The stigma around it leaves people even more broken when they walk out the church doors than before they walked through them. They ask themselves questions like “Why do I feel this way if God loves me. Or maybe the pastors right, I just don’t have enough faith.” Telling someone they just don’t have enough faith can have devastating effects on them mentally even though you may mean no harm by it. When you tell someone something like that you are judging their heart and determining what their faith is. But shouldn’t we leave that to God. Shouldn’t we just be His hands and His feet to the people who need Him.

Jesus Said: Luke 19:10

For the Son of man is come to seek and to save that which was lost.

If Jesus came to seek that which was lost, shouldn’t that be our main objective. Jesus never walked up and just judged, even though He had every right knowing their hearts. He always asked questions, evaluated the person’s heart and motives. He searched them. Jesus didn’t have to do it this way. He is after all God. But what He did, was gave us a way to follow after Him. He left us with insurmountable information to follow and bring His sheep home.

Who can understand the depths of someones heart or know the motives behind them? Who can understand the stains on my pillow from tears I’ve cried over the anxiety and depression I feel. Begging God, please I just want to be closer to you. I just want to feel your presence. I’m not asking for millions. I’m not asking for anything this world has. I just want you. I can’t breathe without you, I can’t live without you. I need you to be my deliverer. I need you to just wrap your arms around me and shield me with your powerful love. But God, I can’t hear you. Where are you? Did I hurt you? Have I lost your promises forever? What did I do father? Oh God, please don’t leave me, I need you.

See, when God searched my heart, He saw that there was a lot more there than just being faithless. He saw the pain of being left. The pain of never being enough. He saw how much I wanted Him, but scared to death that I would do something to mess it up. He saw that as a child I was molested and how unworthy I feel to call Him mine. He saw that as a baby my father left me, found me unfit to be called his. So in my heart I hold all these fears and anxieties. My fears and my anxieties aren’t always because I don’t trust Him. There because I never feel worthy to be His.

What the church needs to realize is no one WANTS to suffer from depression. But thoughts of  despair, hopelessness, confusion, anger, resentment, hurt and fear are driven by depression and fueled by anxiety. They truly believe what they feel and think. People suffer from different types of anxiety. You have social anxiety, Generalized anxiety disorder, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder), agoraphobia and many others. All begin with a thought and end with what you believe to be true.

But what if God strengthens us through our pain. What if God takes all of our heartaches, heart breaks, brokeness and confusion and one by one He begins to lift it from within us as He shows us Who He Really Is.

Many nights I myself have cried out before God over my depression and anxiety. Some days I wake up and I am fine. I feel like I can breathe and take on the day. Other days I feel as though the very life has been sucked right out of me and that God wants nothing to do with me in that present state of mind. Mental illness is a sickness and one not to be taken lightly. As you can see through history many have taken their lives over such and many more will until we do what God has called us to do.

Jesus Said: Mark 2:17

When Jesus heard it, he saith unto them, They that are whole have no need of the physician, but they that are sick: I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.

Beloved, if you or someone you may know suffers from any kind of mental illness please seek help immediately. Though it may seem like you have it under control it can spiral very quickly. Life can throw many hurdles your way and its up to us to stand with a sober mind so we can finish the race set before us. God loves you more than you can possible understand. God did not create you to feel this way everyday or to doubt who you are or who He is for that matter. You are cherished, loved, desired, called worthy! You are a diamond that he’s shinning. You are His heart walking around. You are the apple of His eye and you are held in His right hand. You are His daughter/son and there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for you!

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