The webs we weave

The webs we weave

At this current moment I’m listening to the most amazing hymn ever! Come to Jesus, by Chris Rice! When this song plays, I can feel my spirit crying out to Jesus. I can feel my mind and my heart lining up with His will for me. I can remember when I first made the decision to give Him my life. That first time I let go of all those sins that happened before I KNEW Him. My heart felt feee. I had no yokes of bondage strapped around my neck. I was hopelessly in love with Jesus! I desired to know Him. To be with Him. I found no fault in Him and my faith only grew to extraordinary lengths as I sought after Him. But somewhere along the way, in the midst of the trial, confusion devoured my love. Fear trapped and captured me. I had become its prisoner.

I allow the cares of this world to overwhelm me, instead of holding onto His love for me. In the bills I can’t make. The unmeasurable moments I fail as a parent and a wife. I lose myself in those things of the world that shouldn’t matter, but do. I focus so much energy on trying to find my way and make something happen, that Jesus gets smaller and smaller in my rear view.

Thank God He is God! He sees us drifting and time after time he comes knocking. He tries so hard to continue to get our attention and yet we say “hold on Jesus I’ll be right with you.” And in the next sentence we cry out “God, where are you? Why, why did you let this happen to me? I asked you to be here to help me, yet I feel so alone and broken.” The tiny webs we weave, right. We get so wrapped up in the distresses of our lives, we forget to praise God. We forget to bow our heads and just rest in the fact that He will do what He said He would. We forget to trust in Him when the waves start coming. We forget to watch and wait with patience and expectancy for Him to change what’s happening and turn it for our good!

I think sometimes as Christians, especially those who have never walked through a trying fire think life is suppose to be perfect all the time. We gave our lives to Him so now, nothing bad will ever happen to us. If that’s the case we misinterpret the Bible in a big way. All throughout His word His disciples and His people fought. They fought to breathe. They fought to live. They fought not to fear. They fought not to live anxiously. They fought not to be broken. They fought for walls to be broken. They fought for lions not to devour them. They fought through the fire until Jesus showed up!

Child, God has never promised us a perfect life this side of Heaven. He told us troubles would come. “But take heart I have overcome the world.” And there, right there in that sentence is where you’ll find your peace! He’s overcome it. There’s nothing he hasn’t seen, heard, felt, walked through or known. Jesus knows exactly where you are! You are not lost or forgotten! You are not left or abandoned. You are not alone! Jesus is right there! Right next to you. He’s leaning in, contently listening to your heart cry out. Searching for peace. He’s knocking on the door of your heart!

Jesus is a gentleman! He’s not going to come like a thief and steal your heart or your troubles. If you want Him, you have to ask Him to come! You have to make up your mind that He’s who you want! And then little by little, give way to Him. Give way to the things He’s trying to change in you. Give way to his correction! He only chastises those He loves!

Loving Jesus isn’t hard! It was never meant to be! He is everything you want and your searching for! Joy comes in knowing Him! Knowing that He loves you more than He loves anything else He created. He thinks about you! He lavished you with His blessings and you can rest in this, YOU HAVE HIS WHOLE HEART! So treat it good! Fall in love with everything He is! Desire Him with all your heart and God will give you the desires of your heart!

Tonight, if life has become to hard and your living in despair. If you feel like you can’t go on another day. Get still somewhere in your house, in your car, in your closet, at your kitchen table, in your bathroom if you have to. But get still, then get quiet. Bow your head, close your eyes and get your mind quiet. Drown out all those thoughts of hopelessness. All those feelings of worthlessness. Put away all the cares of this world and just cry out to Him. Put your mind on Jesus! Think about His love for you. Think about all the different ways he’s loved and protected you and I’m telling you, God will show up for you. He has NEVER let me down. He has NEVER not shown up for me in my time of distress. He’s always been by my side and he is yours as well! You are His perfect baby! His heart! His love. His precious possession and He desires you!

If you need someone to talk to tonight feel free to email me at patrice@fearingfaith.com or leave a comment! I will answer you! I understand what it means to walk through the fire and feel like your never going to make it out alive!

God bless and goodnight!

faith/fear, Uncategorized

Faith/Fear

Psalm 139:13

For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mothers womb.

WHO AM I?

How many times have you asked yourself this question? How many times have you broke down without any idea of where your going and what your suppose to be doing in life? How long have you struggled with your Identity? Let me tell you, for the last few years my Identity has been the only thing on my mind. Who am I? What did God create me for? What am I suppose to do for the kingdom of God?

Can I just tell you, I suffer from Anxiety. It takes form in different ways to try and take over my life. I can remember a time when I was unable to leave my house. For six months the closest I came to being outside, was in my garage. That was a very sad time in my life. I thought it was going to break me. I was constantly thinking down on myself. Feeling like everyone was looking at me as if I was crazy or weak. I felt weak. I felt lost. I didn’t understand how this happened? I almost settled into this mindset of “Well, I guess this will be my life.” Then one day, I got up, got dressed and decided “Today, I’m conquering this. Today, I’m going to head down a different path.” It wasn’t easy. I had to wake up everyday with the decision that I was going to progress and know that in the end I would win. You could say, I made up my mind! There were days that would come that would make it especially hard for me to make that decision. In the form of a family member who just didn’t understand how I became afraid. They would try to intimidate me, pep talk me, put me down, run me over. They finally gave up. I’m very hard headed. I have to do things my own way at my own time.

I started small. I walked to the door and put my hand on the door knob. Panic filled me. Even though I wasn’t even close to going outside. My heart began to race. My palms got sweaty. My thoughts were racing 100 miles a minute. I sent my brain into overload with the decision I was about to make. I was trying my very best to trust God. As fear was knocking on my door, my heart was crying out for God to take it. I closed my eyes and I submitted that moment to God. I wasn’t able to turn the entire fear over to Him. But I was able to submit that moment of fear to Him. Little by little that mountain began to fall down. It started to crumble beneath my feet. Each moment that I surrendered to God, He took a little more of that fear away. One day I opened the door and just shut it back. I did that quite a few times before I got the nerve to actually step outside. Can I just tell you, when I finally stepped outside it was nothing like I thought it was going to be. Though I was scared, the joy of standing there with the sun wrapped around my face and the cool fall breeze was something off of a beautiful love story. (I so wish I could pick my life background music, “Eye of the Tiger”) While fear was present and trying so very hard to suck me back in, it just wasn’t possible. The feeling of freedom felt to good.

I want you to know that sometimes were just not able to surrender it all to God all at once. For some people, they can and that’s a beautiful thing. But for others, it takes time to be healed. It takes Gods grace and His faithfulness to show us “Hey, I’m not moving. I’m in this for the long haul. I know your scared. I’ve got you. Just start letting go.” Sometimes all you have to do, is surrender that moment to God. That moment is all it takes to move mountains. To split waters. To turn water into wine. To heal the blind and so on. Those small moments we hand over to God in submission He makes sure He makes good use of that time with Him. In those moments God is filling your heart with more treasure than you can ever imagine. Those are the moments where you finally understand “Peace that surpasses all understanding.”

Fear has a way of taking who we are and shaping it into who it wants us to be. Fear is a dictator. Fear is relentless. Fear is torment. Fear is a lot of things. But fear, is not you.

God did not create you to fear.

WHO GOD SAYS YOU ARE TO HIM!

  • You are justified through Grace, (Romans 3:24)
  • You are loved (John 3:16)
  • You are united with God through the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:17)
  • You are a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  • You are the work of His hands (Ephesians 2:10)
  • You are 100% forgiven (1 John 1:9)
  • You are spiritually alive (Ephesians 2:5)
  • You are a citizen of Heaven (Philippians 3:20)

And the list goes on and on! You are many things to God. You are chosen and loved. You are His heart walking around here on earth. Let God show you who you are through His spirit inside you! I know through life, circumstances have shaped the way you think and feel about God, about fear, about “the cards you’ve been dealt”. I know fear has a way of making you really believe what it’s saying. It’s deceitful like that. It can steal your joy, your peace, your love, your desires and your passions. It can make your dreams feel like a thing of the past while it steals every part of your present.

But the Joy of the Lord is your strength. Though everything may come crumbling down on you, keep looking up. Never look away or get distracted. Those are just hurdles that you were never meant to jump without the Power of God inside you pushing you forward.

The hardest part about facing fear, is getting still. When you are naturally a melancholic person you tend to naturally think downward thoughts. Your genetically, fearfully and wonderfully made this way. But, there is beauty in those melancholic moments. When God leans down from on High and lifts you out, words can’t describe it. Getting still, getting quite and just listening and waiting patiently for God to just be there, is hard. You are flooded with emotions and feelings that you can’t pin down and turn them away. Your trying to lead those thoughts into captivity, but every time you do another one comes along that seems to justify the first thought. The devil is great at making you confused. It’s his middle name. He’s out for one thing. Revenge. Don’t take it personally. He’s not after you. He’s after whose inside you. He’s angry that God kicked him out of Heaven. He’s doing everything he can to sabotage your relationship with God. Don’t let him.

Don’t let him take another thing from you. Don’t let him steal another second of your life and your walk with Jesus. Start regaining your ground. God gave you the power. God gave you a sound mind and God gave you Love. We all know what Love can do, Right! Love covers a multitude of sins. Love opens doors and restores relationships. Love brings closure and forgiveness. Love changes people. Love is one of the greatest gifts the Holy Spirit has ever given us. We Love, because He first Loved us. So He teaches us how to put that Love in motion.

Once you realize WHO you are in Jesus, your life will never be the same again. The way you think about things will change. The way you see things will change. You will begin to offer grace where you once held judgement. You will begin to let go of things instead of hanging onto what’s killing you. God tells you who you are to Him all throughout the bible. You just have to take the time to read it so He can talk to you through it.

Romans 10:17

So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

Faith is another word for Trust!

Faith: complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Synonyms; trust, belief, confidence, conviction

These things are every thing the devil is trying to steal from you through intimidation. Fear is his means. Look for them. Recognize them and fight them with scripture and trust, belief, confidence and conviction! Stay true to what you believe and what you know is the Truth. God is with you. He promised to never leave you nor forsake you. If times are hard, ask God what you can learn from it or what He wants you to do out of it. Walk by faith through it. Don’t let fear overcome you and drown out what God has joined together inside you. You to himself through His Holy Spirit!