Hope, strength

Unsettled, The confidence thief

Fear- A liar and a Thief

   Loving God has never felt so much like obedience until now, in this season of my life. But that’s okay because even in this season, there is still grace.

I don’t know about you, but I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired. I’m done with being afraid. I’m done being scared that everything I’ve loved will be taken from me. I’m done laying down and being walked on. I’m done being bullied.

What about you? Are you ready to kick fear out and fight for the life God desires for you to have? Are you ready to fight for the life YOU DESIRE TO HAVE? If so, stand up and let’s get to fighting!

I’ve lived so much of my life under the influence of fear.  I’ve missed so many wonderful opportunities to share God’s word with people who really needed it because I refused to fight back. I made up excuses for the anxiety attacks. Defending this horrible companion that refuses to leave even though I’ve begged on hands and knees with tears falling down my face. Compromising my beliefs and everything I’ve held dear to me because the feeling of fear, is just too much to bare.

I’ve ask myself time and time again, What did the people in the bible do when they feared?

You have your obvious stories like, David and Goliath. Yes, that’s an awesome story and there is so much to be learned from it and applied to your life daily. But, I’m talking about the kind of  fear that’s rooted so deep within that its going to take a crow bar to pry open the heavily manned walls of your heart.

Suffering from panic attacks and depression is so much more than just a chemical imbalance. It’s spiritual as well. But it’s not even that simple. When you begin to sit down and really start to think about it, doubts have been being planted in you for years. All those little lies that filled your mind over the years, are finally starting to show their roots.

Your circumstances have also contributed to fears you live with now. Maybe you were molested by someone in your family. Maybe you were beaten by your parents or an ex-boyfriend. Maybe you became pregnant young and left to take care of your child by yourself. Maybe your parents didn’t want you and left you behind. All of these were ways the devil strategically placed speed bumps in your destiny. Carefully planned out to perform his destruction on your life without you realizing that’s what was happening.

All of these things have in one way or another set up shot in your mind to grow off of that one seed of doubt planted in your mind years before. For me, anxiety is about the loss of control. But, let’s go a little deeper than that. Anxiety for me is about trust. I suffer from anxiety because I trust no one. There’s a reason I don’t trust anyone. My biological father didn’t want me as a child. When I became of age he started coming around. A few years into our relationship he disappeared and I hadn’t seen or heard from him in years. Then, I get a call saying he want’s a paternity test done because he doesn’t believe I’m his daughter.

So you can see where my trust issues begin. I was deserted by my father who until this day has wanted nothing to do with me. Not to mention the many molestations by close family members I suffered through. Another seed of doubt planted. DON’T TRUST MEN.  Trust, goes deep for me. But I am grateful, because I have Jesus to remind of who I am and who I belong to daily.  Though some days I struggle greatly I will win this race set before me. I will not give up and neither should you. You are more than just chemicals. To Him, you are everything. You are the apple of His eye, His perfect creation. He has sustained you and loved you. He has given you all that He has and He has put your enemy at your feet. Remind yourself of that. But before I go, I want to share a verse with you.

“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

Peace I leave with you:

The peace Jesus is talking about here is the peace of knowing who He is. Knowing that no matter what happens He’s sticking by your side. He’s comforting you, protecting you, watching over you, loving you, blessing you, turning everything around for your good. It’s knowing in your heart that hard times are going to come. You’re not excluded from being tried or tested. You’re not excluded from the devil coming after you. But it’s remembering in those times that Jesus is still Jesus and He is going to protect you and comfort you right through it all. He gifted you His peace. Now, reach out and take it with thanksgiving in your heart!

Not as the world giveth:

We all know this world only offers temporal peace. Okay, I made the bills this month! Whew! The laundry is finally done! Yay! This kind of peace doesn’t last long because guess what, tomorrow those troubles will be right there waiting for you again. And guess what, you’ll be worrying about it before tomorrow even comes. So reach out and grab ahold of that beautiful gift of peace He gave you! Have faith in Jesus!

Let not your heart be troubled:

Wondering about things often get’s us into trouble. I know for me it has usually led me to places of depression in the past that were hard for me to return from, though I did. I wondered about why my dad left and about how I would make my next mortgage payment. I wondered if I would ever meet anyone to spend my life with. All these things troubled my heart. But, they never made me feel anxious.

Neither let it be afraid:

The fact that this verse says LET NOT, means we have control over what our hearts feel and possess. That’s absolutely nuts right! Sometimes I don’t feel like I have a whole lot of control over what I’m feeling because it feels like I’m losing my mind. But let’s be honest here, were allowing that feeling of fear to conquer us instead of leading our hearts in the right direction. Through the light of the WORD of God!

At the end of the day we need to realize fear is a liar and a thief. He’s stolen more things from you than you can even fathom. Just think, you only know of the things that show prominently on your mind. What about the life Jesus has had planned for you since before He even created you? Your leaving that behind and walking hand in hand with someone that is ultimately destroying you.

Fear comes to steal, kill and destroy. Sound familiar. That’s right. Fear is from the devil. Fear is not your comfort place. It’s not a thorn in your side. It’s not just a chemical imbalance. It’s so much more than that.

From experience, I know fear is not something you can just walk right out of. Well, sometimes you can! But for most of us, it takes time, patience and a whole lot of prayer. It takes remembering who Jesus is, trusting and believing that He will do what’s best for you. It’s going to be a fight to gain back the stolen ground in your life. You can do this. Pick yourself up even if its just by one breath at a time.

No one has ever just arrived at the top of a mountain top. They got there by taking one step at a time. They rested, ate and restored themselves because the journey was long and they knew they were in for a fight to make it to the top. The only thing that separates them from you, is a made up mind.

Don’t try to conquer the mountain all in one day. Take one step at a time. One moment at a time. One breath at a time. Figure things out as you go and look up to the Heavens because that’s where your help is coming from. One day you will wake up and you will be excited to see that the day is here. You will mount up on wings like eagles. You will run and not faint. Because you have waited on the Lord and you have been fighting the good fight of FAITH!

5 thoughts on “Unsettled, The confidence thief”

  1. What a great post! As a counselor, I see the natural and the spiritual aspects of anxiety, depression, suicidal ideations, etc… As well as their contributions to overcoming. I enjoyed your post. Very engaging!

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